How Embracing Failure Brings Happiness

How Embracing Failure Brings Happiness

Failure, as unpleasant as it is, is an important, necessary part of life. Life is about polarity – the only reason we even know what happiness is, is because we have experienced sadness and failure. 

If we aren’t failing at something, we aren’t trying hard enough!  Just think of all the things you can do now.  At some point you couldn’t do them.  It’s highly unlikely that you did them the first time you tried them either.  Even things like learning to walk, riding a bike, driving a car, writing a winning sales letter, getting a job.  There are SO many examples.

Failure is the ultimate barometer for life – it shows us when something is or isn’t working.  It tells us that we need to learn more or improve our skills.  It can even indicate if we are on a path that may not be the best one (although I do think understanding your Values and Beliefs is necessary for this too).

We can’t always know the outcome of something before we do it, so there is always a chance of failure.  That doesn’t stop us giving it a go.

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” — Michael Jordan

There are SO many examples of successful people who failed so many times.  Just think how different our world would be today if we had no light bulbs.  Well, Thomas Edison failed MORE THAN 10,000 times before he created the light bulb. Good thing he believed in himself and didn’t give up!

It is important to recognise that failure is a perception.  The fear of failure distorts your perceptions of your goals and makes them seem more unattainable, which impacts the effort you put in and the results that you experience. 

Even though failure hasn’t happened (and may not happen), the fear of it negatively impacts your performance and levels of happiness.

Here are the main things we gain from failure:

• Experience – failure the fastest and most precise teacher there is! What we often fear about failure is being seen to fail.  The thing is – most of the time no one is watching, and even if they are, they probably don’t even notice your perceived failures.  It depends what benchmark you set for yourself as to whether or not you can even classify what you’re doing as failure.
• Knowledge – I’m guessing every time Edison failed, he learned something he didn’t know before, which got him that much closer to his breakthrough discovery.
• Resilience – if we only hope and plan for success, when something doesn’t go well, we have no idea how to handle it.
• Growth – through failure we learn more and grow. The experiences that give us the knowledge that build our resilience, give us the tools to grow so we can have a greater impact in the world. 

And here are ways you can manage the failures you experience:

• Clarity – if you aren’t clear on what you want in life or from money, then failure is a step closer to finding that out! You will then know what either doesn’t work or you don’t want.  Having a clear vision for your life is important, so embrace failure as a way to help you get clear!
• Language – monitor your self-talk and the words you say to yourself. Recognise that failure is part of life and use the information you gain from your failures to propel you towards what you want. Plus, be careful to surround yourself with people who aren’t going to talk you out of something before you have even tried it.
• Accept failure as necessary – rather than actively trying to avoid failure, realise that it is an important part of life. High performance athletes see failure as more information to work with – what has and hasn’t worked.
• Write an action plan – rather than wallowing in the failure and feeling miserable, take what you have learned and the clarity you have gained, and write down at least 3 steps you can take to move you forward. This may be taking a course, attending a seminar, hiring a coach, or talking to someone who has been where you are and is willing to share their experiences.

Remember, this failure could be one step away from success and happiness.  Get clear on what will make you happy, so you can recognise it once you are there, and then celebrate!