Wisdom from a Money Conversation Across Three Generations

Money is something that impacts us all in different ways - because we have all had different experiences and exposure to money when we were kids.

We could "blame" our parents solely for our relationship with money, but then we move into the sphere of "nature v nurture", and that's a whole other issue!

There is some truth to it though, and this week I had a conversation with my 80-year old mother and my 9-year old daughter about money.

Obviously, my mother has a lot more life experience, and things were very different for her as a girl and young woman.  She migrated to Australian when she was 7, and was navigating a lot of things in herself while assimilated into her new life.  For her first job, she was paid her salary as cash in an envelope!

Even when she was earning a wage, her mother was still very much controlling her financially, and it goes to show that when you don't know anything different, it's difficult to see what's going on and make a change.

Never having learned anything about money, my mother (and then my father) fumbled their way through.  The message European migrants in particular got back then was to buy property.  This in itself isn't a bad strategy, but there needs to be some thought behind it in the bigger picture of managing finances and setting yourself up for a financially comfortable life and future.

As a result, I saw my father lose money on property, and also use money as a way to control situations and relationships.

And, because both my parents came from very modest (bordering on poor) backgrounds, when they did start to earn semi-decent money, they spent it (what wasn't going to pay mortgages)!

This is what I saw growing up - more money going out than coming in, credit card debt, and things being unstable financially.

When my parents divorced, I saw the money side of that too, and how it can be used as a negotiation tool and be "weaponised" to a certain degree.

I had my own journey then to figure out, and in the absence of any real role models or learning, I did courses.  Learning has always been my default mode - if I don't know something and I want to know about it, I take a course.  This might sound rational, but it also has seen me lose time by being overly cautious and being too wrapped up in theory - too scared to put things into practice.

One thing that money needs to really work in your favour, is time.  Plus consistency - putting money aside little by little.  The older you get, the more you need to put away, but time can still work for you.

Feeling financially secure or financially free is something that most of us aspire to.

My daughter, when asked about money, gave her answer to the effect that it allows you to choose - the kind of house you want, where you want to live, the kind of car you drive and where you go on holiday.  She has definitely been listening to me!  :-)

It was a good conversation.  If you would like to listen to it, you can click here.

I highly encourage you to go and have a money conversation with your kids and loved ones - without judgement or expectation - and see what comes up.