Overcoming Money Shame and Guilt

Our relationship with money is a journey, rather than a destination.  We are constantly learning, growing and evolving as humans.  Just like the relationship we have with ourselves and those around us, they aren't static.

Growing up, I didn't really think too much about money, except that I remember my parents spending it, and sometimes not having enough of it.  My mum used credit cards, and my dad used cash, and neither system worked particularly well for either of them, because they also didn't know how to manage money.

When we think of our financial role models (being mainly our parents), and perhaps our grandparents (who lived through a war), it's no wonder we have no proper understanding about money!

Because I saw a lot of spending and personal debt growing up, I became a saver.  However, when I started to earn some semi-decent money, guess what happened - I also got into personal debt!  I couldn't believe it, and guess what emotions that brought with it - guilt and shame! 

How could I repeat the example I was trying to avoid!

Well, because I didn't know any better.  I didn't realise this at the time though - this is the perspective of nearly 20 years of work on myself (both learning about money and my own mindset and personal development journey).

I spent nearly 10 years learning about personal finances - both through trial and error and then studying it officially.

Then, I started a business and realised how much I still didn't know!  Talk about a constant learning curve.

I took some of the principles I had been using in my personal finances and applied it to business budgeting, and it sort of worked.  There are differences though, and then connecting the two because another hurdle.

No wonder we feel guilt and shame around money!

They key "tool" that has pushed me beyond the crippling emotions of guilt and shame is...  Curiosity.

Yep. It might sound strange, but wanting to know the answer to my questions (even when I wasn't sure I was asking the right questions, or who to even ask) lead me one step ahead each time.

I then came up with my own system and tools and that's why I now help other women in business - so they don't have to go through all that "stuff" I went through.  Or at least to help them get through it faster!

So, get curious about your money - ask one question at a time, and you will begin to make progress and have a bank balance that grows and grows.